I'm shooting my film this weekend and the weather forecast says rain all day Saturday! I'm going to have to waterproof my props, my costumes and my teen actors!!!

Kids

After holding three casting sessions and auditioning roughly 40 teenagers, I have made my final selections and am preparing for a rehearsal tomorrow. One major problem, however, is that teenagers terrify me! They're so unpredictable and whenever I'm around them, I suddenly feel like the plump, awkward 13-year-old girl I once was. I hope they don't throw oranges at me.

The film I'm working on is a comedy about the extraordinary lengths one 11-year-old goes to in order to secure her first kiss. The character is supposed to be chubby but no overweight girls auditioned. Who knew finding a fat kid in America would be so difficult. I thought childhood obesity was supposed to be a big problem here. Apparently not in New York. Instead, I've chosen a young actress who could easily pass as a dork with the right costuming.

I've asked my performers to bring along five different outfits each so I can begin thinking about production design. Patterns look really terrific in black and white. I'm thinking about dressing the lead actress in a striped t-shirt and heart shaped glasses. The story takes place in summertime but New York is unseasonably cold at the moment and people have already begun wearing their winter coats. At this stage, I don't know how we're going to overcome this problem.

I'm very homesick at the moment but the long hours of work make it easier to be away from everyone. My new friends here are great and we spend so much time together that we've grown extremely close already.

I feel like I'm living in 1965

Today my acting teacher told the class that all women directors are controlling and they don't allow their actors to contribute anything to the filmmaking process. He went on to qualify this statement by saying 'that's my experience and I've worked with five female directors'. Apparently five women are representative of millions. It's so disheartening to hear comments like this from your peers but to hear them in class is too much! My Directing teacher is worse. He calls me 'darling' and constantly talks about female crew members being too weak to carry our equipment. Last week one of my classmates moaned about being in a group with four girls. He argued that he had only meant it as a joke but what's funny about diminishing women's proffessional capabilities?

Here it seems acceptable to make sweeping judgements about women in a proffessional sphere but you never hear broad statements about men. When was the last time anyone said 'Men are really bitchy in the work place' or 'Men never put in the hours that women do'. You wouldn't say it because it wouldn't be true. Attitudes to work and creativity are NOT determined by gender!

No wonder only three women directors have been nominated for an Oscar! This industry is one of the last bastions of male chauvinism.