I'm shooting my film this weekend and the weather forecast says rain all day Saturday! I'm going to have to waterproof my props, my costumes and my teen actors!!!

Kids

After holding three casting sessions and auditioning roughly 40 teenagers, I have made my final selections and am preparing for a rehearsal tomorrow. One major problem, however, is that teenagers terrify me! They're so unpredictable and whenever I'm around them, I suddenly feel like the plump, awkward 13-year-old girl I once was. I hope they don't throw oranges at me.

The film I'm working on is a comedy about the extraordinary lengths one 11-year-old goes to in order to secure her first kiss. The character is supposed to be chubby but no overweight girls auditioned. Who knew finding a fat kid in America would be so difficult. I thought childhood obesity was supposed to be a big problem here. Apparently not in New York. Instead, I've chosen a young actress who could easily pass as a dork with the right costuming.

I've asked my performers to bring along five different outfits each so I can begin thinking about production design. Patterns look really terrific in black and white. I'm thinking about dressing the lead actress in a striped t-shirt and heart shaped glasses. The story takes place in summertime but New York is unseasonably cold at the moment and people have already begun wearing their winter coats. At this stage, I don't know how we're going to overcome this problem.

I'm very homesick at the moment but the long hours of work make it easier to be away from everyone. My new friends here are great and we spend so much time together that we've grown extremely close already.

I feel like I'm living in 1965

Today my acting teacher told the class that all women directors are controlling and they don't allow their actors to contribute anything to the filmmaking process. He went on to qualify this statement by saying 'that's my experience and I've worked with five female directors'. Apparently five women are representative of millions. It's so disheartening to hear comments like this from your peers but to hear them in class is too much! My Directing teacher is worse. He calls me 'darling' and constantly talks about female crew members being too weak to carry our equipment. Last week one of my classmates moaned about being in a group with four girls. He argued that he had only meant it as a joke but what's funny about diminishing women's proffessional capabilities?

Here it seems acceptable to make sweeping judgements about women in a proffessional sphere but you never hear broad statements about men. When was the last time anyone said 'Men are really bitchy in the work place' or 'Men never put in the hours that women do'. You wouldn't say it because it wouldn't be true. Attitudes to work and creativity are NOT determined by gender!

No wonder only three women directors have been nominated for an Oscar! This industry is one of the last bastions of male chauvinism.

I shot on 16mm film for the first time today!!! Yipee!!!

Binoche

The wonderfully charming Juliette Binoche paid us a visit today. She talked about her films, including 'Blue', 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being', 'The English Patient', and 'Chocolat'. I asked her whether she'd ever worked with a director that she found impossible, and what qualities in a Director inhibited her creative process. She laughed a little about working with Jacques Rouffio. Initially she felt he would be a nightmare director but they came to have a very good working relationship because he was open to collaboration. She said the only time it was difficult to work with Directors was when they insisted on controlling their project and not allowing any input from their performers.

But seriously what was I thinking? I should have asked her what it was like to make out with Johnny Depp.

Week One

People seem to argue a lot here in New York. An old woman and a young man were standing at opposite ends of the bus today screaming at each other, and last night in the cinema, one audience member wouldn’t stop loudly scolding the man in front of him for playing with his mobile phone. There’s a lot of bottled up anger and anxiety, which I think can be easily explained by the close quarters everyone keeps. In some ways you never have a reprieve from the busy, crowded streets. The noise follows you up several flights of stairs and finds you, even in your sleep. With the bassy drone of hip hop music booming out of cars, the sirens, and the constant tooting horns, it’s no wonder everyone’s on edge. I’ve been advised, however, never to lose my cool. ‘People in this city carry guns’, one local warned me.

My first official week at NYU has been exhilarating. It started with a two day writing intensive. We went over our ideas for our project this semester. By December, we have to have written and directed a four minute, black and white, silent film. My teacher, comedian Michael Showalter, said he thought my ideas were good and asked me why I didn’t like them. It was very hard to put into words. I feel as if I haven’t discovered my own creative voice yet and I didn’t like my proposals as I felt I was writing to please an audience rather than finding something I truly wanted to say. I’m going to have another crack at it this weekend.

To prepare us to direct performers, the school gives us acting classes. In our first lesson we improvised a scene after being given a simple scenario. I was paired up with my very talented classmate Ingrid Jungerman. I think everyone was surprised because it was a serious scene and I cried in the middle of it. I’ve never been able to cry on cue but I used all of the stress and pressure from the last week to channel some sadness. It’s funny though, once you’ve brought those emotions to the surface they become very hard to control. It was a very important lesson.

We had our first cinematography class and I got to play around with a 16mm camera for the second time! I think I’m in love. It’s so exciting! I can’t believe in six weeks we will be shooting on 16mm film. I’m petrified but I’m also really looking forward to it.

Everyone in my class is really supportive and it’s hard to believe I’ve only known them for a fortnight. They already feel like good friends.

School Starts

Today was my first day at NYU film school and we met Director Spike Lee!!! He's the Artistic Director of the School but before I came, I imagined that he wouldn't be around very often. Another of our teachers, Lee Grant, won an Oscar for her performance in 'Shampoo' and Todd Solondz is going to join the faculty next year. I'm really blown away!

Also, I might have scored a job as a Teachers Assistant which is really, really good news because I'm totally broke and still looking for an apartment.

The other 35 students seem really, really nice and I think I will make good friends here. Cross your fingers for me!